Monday

The Rih-cap

The views of Tha Holiks aren’t necessarily the views of Avenue 1, its parent company, or its sponsors.

Nothing beats having a reason to be embarrassed and celebrated as african-americans on a rainy weekend. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you know like I know, all of that happened at the same time during the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, which fell a few stories short of entertaining, but also just a shade over complete monkey-ism.
So what Rihanna’s forehead can probably crack 2 eggs in the morning for a sunnyside up breakfast, she has emerged as today’s top Pop Tart in music. Her performance at the awards proved that although she may not have the vocal range of say,… Brittney Spears, she is the new Brittney Spears 2.0… doesn’t hurt that she’s also taller than 95% of today’s rappers too.

Her “Disturbia” performance proved why she’s in: funky tune, slick production, good choreography, and having a hot ass to match.

Then, just when you think that this vocally-challenged diva kicked things into high gear, Rihanna hands down steals the show during a guest performance alongside pint-sized gangster rapper T.I. in a performance of “Love Your Life” from his upcoming album “Paper Trail.”

Converting a limited skilled reggae artist into a pop sensation is one thing, but try converting a veal chop with rice into a Sirloin steak served alongside some seasoned gravy and homemade mashed potatoes. That my friends, is how the music industry ended up with Rihanna.

GRADE: A-

Was it us or did LL Cool J and Russell Brand have great chemistry together during their lingerie joking skit? Instead of us being the judge, maybe Dorien Wilson might be a better one…

Moving right along, the art of monkey-ism never seems to fade away no matter how large the celebrity, the ego, or the idea. While the average racist skinhead commonly refers to the black community as the same word that the black community refers to itself as, the skinhead is often on the stale end of the pretzel.

So what is a skinhead to say when you see “ideas” like this…

Amy Winehouse is on line 3 and wants Blake’s crack-cocaine back please.

Or how about Exhibit B:

We’re still convinced that grammy nominated gangster (hell they all are in our eyes) Lupe Fiasco is secretly returning to TV in reruns this fall as Stefan Urquelle. Lupe’s performance was short on sass and long on rap-tism. We are great fans of Lupe Fiasco despite the fact that we have never heard a single tune from the Urk-meister.

GRADE: B+

You get the idea here. But it could be worse… at least we don’t have to see this blogger’s mug every morning:

E-mail us directly on our unsanctioned e-mail: thahataholiks@gmail.com or visit us in the community.