What would possess a woman to wear a bra that she hated? More specifically, what would cause her to wear a bra that was too tight, caused back problems, was too old and worn, too itchy or irritating due to the fabric, and just too plain uncomfortable? We, as women, have all been placed in this dilemma before—possibly on several occasions. As a matter of fact, I know it happens because all of these questions came to mind when I was put in this scenario one day. I too wore a bra that I hated.

In asking around, there are surprisingly many reasons we wear bras we hate, but here are the top four. (1) We are too lazy to look for a better one, (2) we’re often complimented on this one, so we stick with what makes us look good, (3) we feel that we can’t afford to invest in another one right now, (4) we don’t even notice that it’s that bad for us and/or (5) this bra is better than the alternative (nothing). Amazing, right? I know that you can understand where I’m coming from.

But let me tell you something. As weird as this decision making and justification appears to someone on the outside looking in, can you imagine what people are thinking about the woman who chooses to stay with a partner who has caused problems, irritated them, created discomfort, and more. Ironically, it’s the same top reasons! Pay close attention…

We are too lazy to seek a better one. Some women are simply content. They don’t want the hassle of getting back out in the dating world and looking for someone new. You already know the exact drama that he’s going to bring to your relationship and you’ve already learned how to deal with it.

We’re often complimented on this one. Everyone loves your beau. They have an irresistible package: degrees, money, cars, etc. Everyone also tells you that you would be crazy to allow a catch like this to pass you by. Even those who are closest to you don’t even realize how much you are actually suffering just trying to keep him by your side.

We feel that we can’t afford to invest in another one right now. You’ve told him everything about you. He knows all of your flaws and everything that’s wonderful about you. And, now you are expected to start anew with someone else! Yeah right. You feel as if you don’t have the energy to do this anymore. You also feel as if you have such an investment with your current mate that any day now he will grow into their potential and you HAVE to be there to reap those benefits.

We don’t even notice that they are bad for us. There are times when unhealthy relationships are all you’ve known. If you’ve never known the peace and love that surrounds a great relationship, then you may not even notice that the one you in is actually pretty bad. What you do know is that this relationship is better than the one you’ve had previously! And that is keeping you in this one.

It’s better than its alternative—nothing. Being in an unhealthy relationship is better than being alone. This is your justification! You are so set on not being alone that you are willing to accept anything in the place of loneliness…especially undeserving relationships. You will spend their time with anyone in order to keep the silence out of your home. This is a difficult place to be within and you know it.

The moral of this story is that we are simply too valuable to just accept the irritation that we deal with in wearing the bras we hate and ironically, dating men who create a similar pain. It’s high time that we recognize both for what they are—simply a nuisance. It’s time that we make a point and show both our bras and our partners that we deserve better quality in those that we allow closest to us. So, if you fall into this description, go ahead and do what you’ve really wanted to do for a long time and just throw them both away! You’ll be glad you did it!

About Jennifer Tardy

J. M. Tardy earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree from Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia. She has trained thousands on understanding the behaviors of others and how it can improve relationships, personally and professionally. She lives with her finance, Isaac, and their dogs Bishop and Bella, in Charlotte, NC. Visit her online at www.JenniferTardy.com.
Photos courtesy of C.Holliday