Dating during the holidays can be a tricky situation. As a single sister myself, the holiday season is filled with parties and gatherings, and of course, you don’t want to attend these events alone. There is something about having a nice looking man or woman on your shoulder with a decent personality to help you get through the politics of the season, and it can be fun hooking up to attend a gala or holiday celebration with someone you are seeing. But with anything, some people have the dating game twisted, especially during this time of year.

When I overheard a woman in the bookstore talking to her girlfriend  about pretending to like a fellow so that he would take her to a holiday soiree that she couldn’t get an invitation to, I knew I had to write this post. There is a right and a wrong way to go about dating during the holidays and both men and women need to take note because both sexes seem to fail in this area.

I’ve compiled an easy to understand do’s and dont’s list for dating during this time of year. If you follow these rules, unless dealing with a certified nut, you will be drama free, stress free, and will enjoy yourself while getting to know the opposite sex. Take notes please.

• First dates are pretty much a no-no during this time of year. If you are asking or being asked on a first date to a holiday shindig, chances are the person asking you was previously stood up, usually with a good reason. If you are the ask-ee, why would you want to attend a holiday event with someone you barely know? This sounds suspect to me. People date not only for companionship, but to get to know each other a little better, and that is quite difficult at a holiday event. Stick to asking out someone who you have already at least been on a few dates with. And if you can’t manage to do that, there is nothing wrong with going to the party alone. It is not a must that you have to be boo’d up to attend a holiday affair.
• Don’t try to date or hook-up with someone during the holidays in order to get a gift. That, my friend, is sad. I’ve done this in the past, and let me just say that it didn’t end too well, and I ended up looking like a desperate woman who couldn’t manage to separate dating from looking needy. Don’t fall into that trap.
• Don’t try to rush a relationship during the holidays. Simply put, it’s already a hectic enough time during the year. With so many things going on, it is hard to stay focused on starting a relationship when you are being pulled in several directions. Some people, including myself, get lonely during this time of year. But I say, kick it with your guys or your girlfriends. Save the seriousness for a time of the year when you can concentrate on the actual relationship.
• If you are seriously dating, do introduce your girl or beau before the holiday get together at your family’s house. Why? This could be an awkward exchange that, mixed with liquor laced egg nog and Aunt Winnie’s Christmas moonshine, could be a complete fail. Do the introductions to your loved ones prior to the family dinner for a less stressful event.
• Men, this is not the time of the year to play favor for a favor. Exchanging a gift for Christmas sex is, well, of course a don’t. If you can’t get sex on your own without bargaining, then there may be more wrong with you than you think.
• Do be honest with your date. This is the time for yuletide carols but not for selling dreams. Be honest and up front about your expectations. Lay out your thoughts first and keep it real with one another. And this is something that should be done 24/7- 365 days a year.
• Do dress appropriately for the date. If you are attending a holiday event, make sure both of you are aware of the dress code beforehand so there are no surprises.
• Don’t try to get a date with someone who has an invite to something you couldn’t get an invite to on your own. However, we are all adults so if that is your modus operandi, let the person know upfront so there are no surprises. It’s my opinion that users never prosper, especially dishonest ones, but you use your own judgement on that one.
• Do be careful with those holiday photos. You remember those photos that came back to haunt Scott Peterson after his wife Laci went missing? Photos are recorded history and should be treated as such. Discuss whether the two of you are “allowed” to twitpic or upload to Facebook so things will not potentially get “sticky”.
• Guys, just like you may be dating a few different prospects, realize that your date may be as well. This does not make her a HO HO HO. Game recognize game. We are all adults here.
• Women, if you are looking for a husband, the holiday may not be time to go on that search. Mix and mingle. Get yourself out there in the dating scene. Respect yourself. But don’t live on a dream you saw in a Christmas movie. That is total fiction.
• Romance is not dead fellas. Open the door for her. Be a gentleman. Again this is a rule that needs to be followed all year around. Ladies, don’t stay on the phone texting your girl letting her know your every move. Dating is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.
• Do have fun. This is dating, after all. And dating doesn’t have to make one cringe. When done right, both parties will remember the experience and perhaps, make more dates. Don’t look at this like a corporate merger. The rule is responsible fun.

Did I leave anything out? Do you have any additional do’s and don’ts that need to be added to this list? Use the comment section to respond and let me know what YOU think.

‘Tis the season…..