It’s something that most of us don’t like to discuss when we hit a certain age (like, my age range), but it’s something that is growing and growing with some wild and predictable repercussions: women who are still playing games in the club/social scene with dudes well beyond the “20’s years.”

I could go on and on about it in general, but here’s the thing that stands out the most:

How do you as women (and I’m singling women out once again… as usual) expect to be taken serious when you aren’t doing anything serious in the middle of the moment, or even better, when its crunch time?

Before I blab on, PLEASE NOTE I’m not singling anyone out on this post, but just typing.

It’s like, we all go to party, and hangout, drink, and enjoy the social scene just like those did years before us. Whether it’s at a mainstream bar, soulful lounge, wild alternative spot, or hooded out urban club, it’s the same old story regardless: woman yaps off about wanting to feel comfortable at the end of the day with the ideal type of dude, then makes a harsh comment about “ideal dude’s choice of wandering eyes” and subsequently targets someone who CLEARLY doesn’t fit the description of “ideal” knowingly. Meanwhile, ideal dude is supposed to “wait” while the woman plays the field out and weighs out all options (AKA mingles and previews the drive-by), and of course, when the drive-by puts the motor on the pedal and makes it known that the pit stop wasn’t exactly beneficial on his behalf, woman now looks to net herself into “ideal” dude despite already f@#king up any chemistry there was to begin with.

Yeah, so the “ideal” dude is supposed to be waiting around during all of this?

Never mind the fact that said-woman is likely well beyond her years, and I’m not talking like 25-26 either. So it’s like, why do women still continue to play this timely game of “3 Sides” well into their thirties — a game that is supposed to have been mastered, conquered, and retired before the big 30 even appears around the corner? You see it all of the time: women who have convinced themselves that “3 Sides” is a timeless game adventure that will eventually have a happy ending, despite not having one the previous 3 thousand times the game was played adventure was tried?

Look, I’m not going to sit up here and say that I’m some angel that dropped from the East River (figure that one out, haha), because I still say that at 32 years old, I should have been married or at least nearing marriage by now. But also, one thing that I cannot and haven’t done in years (and this is probably dating back to my pre-photography days of 2001) was play “3 Sides” – honestly, I haven’t done it since high school/college, and even then, I didn’t even make the whole dating thing a big deal. But the one thing I have always remained throughout the years is REAL. It maybe the old fashioned way of doing things, but hey, I’m not into the whole complicated “well see my situation is…” stuff – I recently had to distance myself from people of that mold: you know, the ones who memorize more stories for women than they do life’s values, and all of a sudden come out with shocking revelations like alternative tendencies, additional kids, or maybe they’ve done “things” to some people they really had no business sticking ….. alright, ya get the point.

But really, how can you be 30-something, and still playing “3 Sides” in the clubs like weekly/monthly? Maybe in a smaller city like Little Rock or something like that, but what about places like NYC, DMV (DC area), and even Philly? Are women really still convinced that their meal ticket is waiting for them spending money on bottles in VIP? Are women really convinced that showing a little leg and sporting a push-up bra to enhance the rack will entice that drive-by dude (who’s already seen much of it all night from all over, let alone all year and perhaps all of his grown up life) that even though YOU don’t have much to offer as a grown woman, that he should offer what he has to you?

It’s like convincing a basketball player to come play for a team that has nothing going for themselves. Now translate that over into this topic: who wants the woman who isn’t doing anything with themselves? I’m sorry, but even though I’m not a millionaire, I definitely live comfortable and the last thing I want is some babe who has not done anything with herself wanting to have me pamper her every day every hour, despite the fact that they are just there.

I’m sorry, but no real dude wants a chick who’s just there. How do women possibly think that this scenario is better than the working woman who is establishing herself as a decorated professional woman, whether they work in the Pentagon, or a private firm, or run their own company, or work in buyer/seller, or whatever. An occupation that has an extension with the number, haha.

Not saying women have to be more decorated than men, but what’s wrong with doing for yourself before asking a man to do for you? I really hope that our recent presidency change can maybe help women out there (and I’m mainly speaking to minority women) realize that the skimpy outfit and easy a$# isn’t always exactly as sexy/appealing as that babe over on the other side of the lounge with the swank drink in semi-business attire who just left from a hard day of work.

There has to be a 2-way street with it. And last time I checked, a 2-way street doesn’t have 3 sides. Admit It.