By Lil Sis/Missoula

All right, my friends. I think we know each other well enough to introduce this topic, and I hope we’re mature enough to engage in a dialogue about it. If you question your maturity, please refrain from responding. This is adult material from here on out, and I’m not interested in snide or adolescent comments.

The sexual double standard is a subject that comes up frequently among my girlfriends, and at times among the men as well. But it is rarely talked about with any seriousness when both parties are present. What I hope to do here is provide an open environment for a thought-provoking discussion of the double standard.

We all know the game. It starts with language. A woman that sleeps with several men is a “slut” or a “whore.” A man that gets laid all the time is a “stud” or a “player.” The negative connotation is, without fail, draped on the female. When will men get it through their heads that a woman enjoying sex is a good thing?

It progresses to the attitude. A woman who has sex on the first date is always to blame for the lack of a second date, despite the fact that the male possesses the necessary appendage for sex to occur. I can’t tell you how many times this conversation has taken place among my girlfriends:

“He hasn’t called me back. I thought we had a great time.”

“You shouldn’t have slept with him on the first date. He already got what he wanted.”

Why the hell does this make sense? If both parties discover the other enjoys sex, shouldn’t we be adult enough to handle it? Is the man looking for a perpetual virgin? Wake up. Women are real.

Men, here’s a question: why do you lose interest in a woman who wants you from the get-go? Women, why do you allow and encourage your girlfriends to think their sexual freedom is a fault?

I would like to introduce the concept that a sexually free woman is a strong woman, instead of the self-degrading delinquent that seems to be the predominant image. Yes, sometimes promiscuity (on the part of both sexes) is a side-effect of low confidence or self-esteem. But the reality is that most of the women I know are proud of their bodies, their understanding of them, and their confidence in enjoying them.

These are just a few examples of the double standard. Please offer more, and offer some solutions or thoughts. The sexual equality of women and men may be a long way off, but breaking the taboo against discussing it is an important step.

I realize I’m running the risk of assuming the “slut” label myself for caring enough to introduce the subject. Let it fly. Just be ready from some intelligent and logical rebuttals.

(photo credit: Chuck Holliday)