Fall 2006; Words by Urban Diva

Last weekend I spent the day at the local coffee shop (shout out to Bread Stuy) hanging out with some of my diva and don friends. We had a very enjoyable afternoon at the outdoor eatery and listening to the DJ (only in Brooklyn). Over smoothies I brought up this topic and it caused such controversy amongst the group I thought I would share with you, my readers…now please realize that I mean no disrespect to anyone and am ready to field the hate mail. My Brown Barbie told me that I was asking for it this time…

I have come to the conclusion that there are two types of women in the world. There are the JLos and there are the Kim Porters. Huh? You say. Here, let me break it down for you. Every man says he wants the JLo of the world. Actually, most men say they want JLo…but that’s besides the point. When I talk about the JLos and the Kim Porters I don’t necessarily mean the women themselves. I’m talking about what and whom they represent.

The JLos of the world are beautiful, confident, always on the go, self-sufficient women. The Kim Porters of the world, while can be beautiful and have some of the attributes of the Jlo woman more often than not they don’t have nearly as much going on. These women are content to live in the shadow of a man. Most men say they are looking for a ride or die chick. Someone with whom to form the next power couple. You know, take over the throne of what was Kimora and Russell. The reality is though that while most men talk this good talk they are not ready to walk it and end up with a Kim Porter type. The woman that is content to sit there and look pretty. The woman that will drop her own plans and ambitions for her man. (Really other than the Dark & Lovely box when have you seen Ms. Porter model)

It seems that while gentleman can talk a good game of how they want an independent woman who can take care of herself in the end, they are threatened by this same woman. Even the men that are on top of their game end up looking for a subordinate in the department of love rather than an equal. I have watched men bypass women these JLos for the Kim Porters and just don’t understand it. Why do men prefer someone who is not their equal? The funny thing is when I brought this up one of the dons I was with said “Oh no, not me, I am looking for the JLo type. I don’t deal with the Kim Porters.” I had to burst his bubble. Knowing this gentleman for over a decade I was able to list off numerous Kim Porters he has chosen over JLos.

The Diva once thought that she could be content being a Kim Porter, even though by nature I have always been a JLo. I found out how wrong I was on a recent trip out of the country. I went away with a friend and did not have access to my cell, 2way or email! (Never will happen again) Planning the trip I was okay with this idea. I figured business would be fine while I go on a real vacation for a week. My traveling companion didn’t have the same idea and had constant access via blackberry to the world of work back home. Being without my instruments of productivity I was resigned to play the Kim Porter and sit back in the shadows. I hated it. While the Diva can look pretty sitting in the corner I need more. I need to be involved in constant elevation and the only way to do that is stay on top of my game. Unfortunately because I am in the game to win I too have been overlooked for the Kim Porters who are content with watching those around them become bigger and better. There’s a saying that goes “good, better, best. Never let it rest, til your good gets better and your better gets best.” I guess everyone’s best looks different and in order for the world to continue we need someone to play all types of parts. So, I’ll end this by saying thank you to the Kim Porters of the world. If it wasn’t for you ladies then I would be stuck with a man that couldn’t handle my fabulosity. Shout out to my fellow JLos…We taking over the world…and we still from the block.